My six year old son lied to me. I’m a realist and know that it won’t be the last time. It’s a fact of parenting; children will sometimes lie.

This particular lie wasn't even about trying to keep himself out of trouble. It came flying from his mouth without thought to land squarely on my heart and change me in a profound way.

He had gone to a birthday party and played laser tag. He had never played it before so I asked questions. Did you have a good time? Were you on teams? Would you like to go again? Who won?

"I won, Mummy"

A simple three word sentence that changed me.

You did? How do you know you won?

Well, there was a t.v. with a score board and it showed my name and I had 12 points and it said won beside my name.

With each question I asked there was an almost imperceptible hesitation as he tried to answer. The alarm bells in my head started ringing.

"Honey, did you lie when you told me you won?"

"Will I get in trouble if I did?" he asked.

"No, just tell me the truth"

"I didn't win Mummy"

”Why did you lie to me Adam?”

And his answer changed me. I wanted you to be proud of me.

How do I explain to him that winning a game or coming in first or even getting good grades isn't what makes me proud. How do I put into words that his just being makes me proud. That even when I'm frustrated because he's not listening to me, even when I yell at him for talking back, even when I send him to his room for a timeout, I'm proud. That if I were to die tomorrow, I would die knowing that he and his brother, these two beautiful boys, the boys I've had the privilege of sharing my life with, are my proudest achievements.

How do I explain to him that every night before I go to bed, I enter his room, sit on the edge of his bed, smooth the hair away from his brow and kiss the soft velvety spot on his temple and whisper I Love You.

Where are the words to make him understand that I'm proud of him when he chooses to dress in a shirt and tie every day even when all the other kids his age are wearing jeans and t-shirts. And that if he changed his mind and chose to wear jeans and t-shirts too, I'd be just as proud.

Where do I find the words to explain the unexplainable? Because he will never truly understand until he has children of his own. The simple answer is I can't; not with words. But I can let him know through my actions that he is special in his own right and that my love is not there because of what he does...... my love is there no matter what he does.