Susan Matheson and Denisa Nica: The Image Builders

Have you ever looked in the mirror and been unhappy with what you see? Many of us hit the stores hoping to give our image a boost, only to come home with more outfits we have doubts about. This month’s momcafé tackled the potent topic of feeling beautiful from the inside out.

Key Quotes from Denisa

About her previous work as a model:

“Underneath the glitz and the camera flashes there is a really dark world of low self esteem, and girls starving themselves for the next photo. These girls never feel good enough; they are never thin enough, never pretty enough. What we see in magazines is not real. It is created by computer skills, and a lot of pain from those girls. I knew I had to do something to help empower women and to help women feel beautiful for who they are. We all deserve to feel confident and comfortable in our own skin.”

On business partnerships:

“The greatest asset of our partnership is our communication. If you are thinking of forming a partnership, know they can work. I don’t think there is a recipe for a successful partnership, but I do believe it has to be the right person, and intuition can take a key role in knowing that.”

On life:

“I smile when I look back at the days when I first arrived in Canada. For example, I was completely overwhelmed by driving down town. In Europe, there are no bridges, no skyscrapers, and I never needed a map. I remember pulling over one time, fumbling with the map, and thinking how am I ever going to make it here when I can’t even get around? I have to smile because it’s the same in life. You have to have a slight idea where you are going, it does help to get a map, but despite a lot of failing and a lot of tears during the journey, it can be fun! Look at everything and laugh at yourself. I am really blessed for the place I am right now.”

Denisa’s style pointers:

“Look at this magazine. It’s called Bazaar. It’s great. The images look good and it provides lots of information but it is entertainment. Look at this image of a woman in an outfit off the catwalk. An outfit like this would never work for most of us. What’s important for looking good is what works for you. You can still look trendy without looking silly.”

How do you do that?

• First of all, what is your personal style? What is your colouring, your body type, and your lifestyle? Get clear on what you like so the consistency is there.

• If you are not clear how you present yourself, ask friends for feedback. If they are real friends, they’ll tell you. If there is a gap between how you see yourself and how they see you, then you have some work to do.
• It can also help to make a personal inspiration board. Cut out images from magazines you love. You will see trends and themes emerge.
• Wear what is appropriate for the occasion, and select something that suits your personal style.
• If your style is really casual, you will never feel comfortable wearing a pencil skirt. If you are not comfortable wearing something, people can tell.
• If your style is classic or conservative, remember you can make an outfit look more trendy with accessories, such as a wide belt that suits your body type, a fun shoe, or a piece of jewelry.
• For women over forty, there are so many ways you can look trendy without looking over done. Think about tuxedo jackets, sleeveless jackets, bold colours and pencils skirts.
• What about short sleeved jackets paired with crisp white pants? We can incorporate this stuff into your wardrobe without being over the top.
• If you are on a tight budget, prioritize what items will function best for you. You might be better to spend more than you usually do on a black jacket that will do wonders for your image, instead of several cheaper purchases.
• Suggestions for Spring: If it works with your personal style, your lifestyle and your colouring, bright colours are a huge trend. Yellow is everywhere, but be careful with your skin tone. The second one trend for Spring would be patterns – painted, faded patters, polka dots.

Key Quotes from Susan

On life:

“My two favourite words are epiphany and serendipity, and it is so important to recognize these two in your life and embrace them.”

On balance:

“Balance is not about being in perfect harmony at any specific time, instead it’s about looking back over a longer period of time and feeling that a general sense of balance was achieved.

On her former work as a lumber trader:

On paper this was the perfect opportunity to use my newly acquired business skills, my Japanese language skills and my familiarity with Asian culture. In reality, I was a flaming disaster. The stress that that year brought me! I hated the job. It was poorly suited for my non-mathematically oriented mind. It made me realize the importance of going to work and doing something that you love. Ask yourself, what do I like? What do other people expect me to be good at? When you explore how other people see you, it can help you define what you are good at very quickly.”

On moving to South America when she had a four week old and an 18 month old:

“When I look back, I think, “Where was the sanity in that?” But in hindsight, I can see how those moments when you feel you are the most desperate are often where you find your strength. A girl friend said to me, “How can you sacrifice your career for you husband’s career?” But I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as an adventure. One of the best pieces of advice I heard was when my husband and I were debating the move to South America: A mentor of my husband’s said, “What’s the worse thing that could ever happen? If it’s a disaster, at least you’d have a really great photo album at the end!” Sometimes I think of that when things are not going the way I want to them to. At least I will have a great album!”

On being “just” a Mom:

When I was in Chile I noticed how I would often say, “I’m just a mom” when introducing myself. I’d catch myself and think, I’m not just a mom. I had gathered a few friends from the playground and we had formed a book club. We knew each other as Stephanie’s mom, Jack’s mom, Paul’s mom, we knew which country we were from as we were pretty geographically diverse group, but who were we really? So one day we went around the room, and we were amazed. We had law degrees, masters degrees, experience living in other countries, we even had someone with a PhD in Geophysics! We were not just moms! It may not be letters after your name, it might be life experiences, but all of us often under estimate the wealth of who we are.

On doing important stuff:

After South America, my family and I moved to England. I remember one day I heard my son showing a little friend of his around our home. He was saying, “Now this is our kitchen, this is our loo – you have to love that word! - this is our dining room, and this, - he paused looking serious - this is my mom’s office. She does very important things in there!” Now most of those things were emails to my mother, but I was so happy to hear his comment. My little boy thinks I do important stuff, and he was proud of me! Mom might not be the CEO of a company, but she has important things to do.

On intuition:

“Intuition is still a big force in our business. With us, it’s not two brains are better than one, it’s two gut instincts are better than one!”

On the importance of image:

“We all have those days where we feel like a frumpy mommy, but remember you have great control over how you present yourself. A big part of getting back into work or starting a business is creating that image. Look the part. It not only adds to your confidence, it also gives great comfort to others. If you look like they can put their confidence in you, it helps them be more comfortable working with you.”

Susan’s key nuggets of wisdom:

• Do what you love!
• Take control of your personal brand – your image
• Moms should not underestimate their achievements and should feel good about what they've done even if it's not the focus of their lives at the moment. Feel good about yourself and don't apologize!
• Every diversion on the path of life is an opportunity
• Partnerships are great – but be sure it is the right one, and take time to do that
• I once read an article when I was in my mid 30’s, at home with two young kids. The article was about all these women CEOs and I was feeling regret, thinking I’ll never be there and get that kind of, fame and success. Then I noticed all the women were in their 50s! I didn’t have to worry - I still had 20 years! Our time will come!

Contact Susan and Denisa at info@theimagebuilders.ca.