Bees
Overwhelming pain of being burned and crushed simultaneously, chest heavy with what seemed like water filling up my lungs, "I can't make it down the stairs", I said..."Don't worry...we are two very strong..."....everything went silent...then I see it...a sky sunburst, light rays radiating...I'm approaching a field, it was so bright I was squinting but not uncomfortable or hot...figures were in the field, lit from behind...I wonder who they are, I am curious and squint harder to see their faces...as my hand reached out to open the gate to the field a thought flashed through my mind...I can't die...I have a baby...I can't die...in a heartbeat I was back, in an ambulance...I could hear now...one medic asking the other to get ready with the defib, injecting me with epi, starting my IV...my body went berserk...at 34 years old and 5 1/2 weeks pregnant with my third, I suffered my first anaphylactic shock twenty minutes after one, or possibly two honeybees stung me...when we get to the hospital and they have stabilized me, the medic suggests for me to find a new hobby...
I've heard people say that when you need to learn life lessons, first the universe (or God) speaks in a whisper, then a talking voice, then yells, then bangs you over the head until you get it. My anaphylactic shock was my wake up call. I was a hobby beekeeper and had been stung probably 20 times or more, with never more than a skin reaction. I am still reliving the event and adjusting my lens to bring lessons into focus. Some lessons are clear, others are still blurry. One thing I know for sure is the power of the life force within all of us is strong. That is the first lesson. We are gifts from God and we are here to help the ones we love. Nobody is too small to work miracles. My little embryo saved my life that day. Imagine what we are all capable of being and doing! The life force within a being the size of a lentil called me back from a peaceful, loving death, to face my pain, to grow and to learn. Our challenge is to be that gift from God, to be strong and valuable, and to work our own miracles each day.
Another lesson is to find and to love your power. I used to let people steal my power and with it went much joy. I was angy and I hid my true self. Now I know that I am not going to hide anymore. I have begun to cut ties to relationships that made me feel insignificant. I know that I am significant because my husband, my children, firemen, medics, nurses and others saw me that way and saved my life, when I wanted to die. For the health of my kids I will live significantly and fully. I am empowered. I am worthy of happiness and I have the power to create my own joy. I've been to death and back and I have a message. Keep your power and share your joy, peace and true self.
The sting of a honeybee has forever changed me. The humble honeybee, overlooked by many and taken for granted by many more, changed my life in powerful ways. Many of us live humble and overlooked. Yet we are all capable of greatness and through experiences like these, are given the second chance to love ourselves and truly live our only life. I know now that my soul is part of an interwoven tapestry of life. Big changes start small, on the wings of a butterfly, or the sting of a bee.