Momcafe

Listen when your body is telling you to change course - When I was younger, I was working until 2am. I gave myself a bleeding ulcer at age 24. I was a bit of a workaholic and realized I was stressing about things that were beyond my control. I either had to get out of that type of work environment or suffer the consequences. Then later on I was diagnosed with a non cancerous tumor in the brain. I knew I could not do the hours I was currently doing. The medication I was on was making me very ill. I could see it was time to start my own thing and call my own hours. Once I started working for myself I could stay home and work in my pajamas in the morning!

Be willing to learn as you go - Early on in my career I started working for a Chinese company that wanted to come to Canada. Despite not speaking any Mandarin, I was leading the company alongside its Chinese chairperson. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, but I was learning along the way. I would remind myself that the consequences cannot be that bad! It is not like I am doing surgery or flying a plane! The company went on to have a successful IPO and grew to over 40 people.

Success is a team effort - Our success at Webnames.ca has not been because of us, the founders; it has been because of our team. I constantly hear from customers that Max really went above and beyond, or Xavier is such a sweetheart, he did all this extra stuff… Especially in an industry like ours, having a great team who delivers great service is so important.

We all have challenges - My personal challenge is the lack of time, and the guilt. When doing stuff for the business, I feel guilty I am not spending more time with my children. When with my children, I keep thinking about that one thing I could have been doing for my business. But there is only so much time in the day! Even if I had 48 hours a day, I am sure it would still be not enough time to do it all.

Get a Nanny - For me, having a nanny really works well. It is a difficult choice initially. Others might accuse you having someone else raising your children. Earlier on, I tried to do both my children and my work, and I have been on conference calls with work in Ottawa while nursing my son. It was not fair to my children that I was trying to do the work thing and spend time with them at the same time. I ended up bringing in a live-in nanny. Now I can spend quality time with my children. And she helps with housework! I do not do laundry. My skills in laundry are just not there. I throw stuff into the hamper and it gets folded nicely in my closet. I do not do house work, and instead I spend quality time with my children.

Take time for networking - I really did not believe in networking until fairly recently. Initially, I wanted to focus on the details, and I did not want to be the face of the organization, but then I realized I was doing my company a disservice. Networking and being part of different organizations broke me out of that shell. I was extremely shy and if you had asked me in the past if I would be doing speaking engagement every three weeks, I would not have believed it. I try and get out to one networking group a week.

Ask for help - We all think we can do it all. Whether it is caring for your children, or just having one evening for yourself to go have dinner with you partner, ask others to help you. Otherwise you go a little bit insane. And ask for help in your business. There are amazing mentors out there. I was listening to Sue Paish a few weeks back, and she is a huge believer in mentorship. If someone asked her to be a mentor, she would say yes.

Teara Fraser, Commercial Pilot & President of Women in Aviation Sea to Sky Chapter

Move beyond possibility blindness - Until October 2001, I suffered deeply from what I call possibility blindness. But then I came to realize it is my decisions and not my circumstances that determine my destiny. At 19, I was probably voted least likely to succeed in my high school and I came from a background of financial difficulty. I believed I was meant for something but I did not know what that was. I worked in all kinds of jobs, and quit jobs. People laughed at me, but I knew I had not found what I was looking for. I had a couple of kids, I kept searching for work. I tried doing what was practical, what was responsible. I bought a condo. I went to work at a good practical 9 to 5 job, which I hated. I tried to be a good parent and to provide all those things society says we need to.

Trust you will make it through the dark times - And then things went sideways. In October 1999, all these challenges came my way. My partner left me when my son was four months old. My condo, which I had worked so hard at jobs I hated to pay for, ended up being one of the worst leaky condos. My mom was diagnosed with a serious illness. It was my darkest time. I sat on the floor at Chapters and read self help book after self help book. They said to set some attainable goals, yet ones you have to strive for. I decided I wanted to go to Africa to see a zebra and a giraffe. It was the first thing I put on my list.

Listen to the voice within - As I started to rebuild myself, I started to save for Africa. Every pay day I went down to the travel center with my budgeted amount. I saved for a year and a half. I caught a lot of flack for my decision to go and I could not believe it was really happening. I was booked on a flight on October 22, 2001. Then 9/11 happened. My son was two years old. But there was this voice in my heart that said “you have to go”. For the first time in my life I listened to that voice. It was the best decision I ever made. When I landed in Africa, for the very first time I believed in myself.

Keep searching until you find what you love - I was there for two months. I had never been in a small plane before, and decided to go for an aerial tour. I met the pilot, and as we flew, I thought this is what I want to do! It was so clear. But then I came down and I started to doubt myself. You are a single mom with two kids, it is post 9/11, you are bankrupt… So I talked myself out of it.

Screw Practical! - But then I had my second time in a small plane. The pilot accelerated that throttle and I cannot describe the feeling I had. I came home, quit my job, and started my flight training. When it was time to take my first job, it was one up North, away from my family. I knew I was going to have to make some big sacrifices. My daughter said “Mom, do you really think it is practical to be a pilot and a parent?” But I knew if I stayed home, I would not have the type of relationship with my children I wanted. As a type A keener, I had taken lots of parenting classes. They always reminded us to think about what we wanted to teach our children by example. I wanted to role model for my children that you can find something that fires you up and makes you want to go to work. You can do anything you dream of doing.

Give to your community - It is amazing how much they will give back to you. You get what you give. Geese are a great role model for this. Geese fly 72% faster because they work together. When the lead goose gets tired, it goes to the back. They honk to cheer each other on. If one goose is sick or wounded, two geese drop out to go with it until it dies or recovers. That is true community spirit.

Ask for help! When you ask your family and your friends for help, you are giving them a gift. You are allowing them to ask you back!